The Only Place Left For Fast And Furious To Go Is Space

The Only Place Left For Fast And Furious To Go Is Space

With the release of the new trailer for The Fate of The Furious, the amazingly titled (don’t @ me) latest installment of The Fast And The Furious franchise, we have seen what the future of the franchise looks like without Brian O’Connor (Paul Walker) and a world where ‘The Family’ is free and working a little bit closer to the right side of the law than ever before. But, like any good franchise, we have to ask ourselves immediately, what’s next?

It’s clear to me that the only thing life for The Fast and The Furious to do is to go to space.

Reason #1 - They are exhausting their locations

From the trailer, we see a clearly arctic or tundra based location. Are we in Antarctica? On a glacier in Greenland? Either way, the only earth bound locations we have to race on with four wheels are Uluru, the natural rock formation in Australia, or the Amazon rain forest.

Reason #2 - There Aren’t A Lot of Vehicles With Wheels Left For Them

What started out as drag racing, high performance cars has come to include motorcycles, drift and rally cars, cop cars, monster hybrid SUV’s, magnetic experimental cars, tow trucks, dump trucks, trains, buses, heavily fortified long haul trucks, and …

A tank.

Including the airbus transport plane they destroyed in Furious 6, and the drone and helicopters used in Furious 8, there are very few vehicles with wheels left for the team to destroy. It’s clear that the lunar rover and experimental space vehicles like the Mars Rover are the final realm of transport for the Furious crew.

Reason #3 - The Only People They Haven’t Pissed Off Are The Mob (And Martians)

The series has stayed true to a certain kind of badass bad guy - Asian American gangster, South Beach drug runners, Japanese Yakuza, Mexican-American drug runners, corrupt politicians, elite special forces teams, mercenaries, terrorists and a combination of Jason Statham’s characters from Crank and Spy. The last possible enimies they have are the classic mafia, in a Goodfellas/The Soprano’s sense, or .. Martians.

No, not Matt Damon.


No, not Marvin.


Reason #4 - They Could Do Boats, Jet Skis, Submarines and Battle Aquaman.

No, no, no. This is a Universal property, and Aquaman is a Warner Brother’s property. That just doesn’t work. Also, they are best team on WHEELS, not in the water.

Reason #5 - Ok, But What If They Just Found A Way To Go Inside Martin Short's Body, But In A Tank Instead Of A Submarine?

No. that sounds silly. Let’s go to space!

Reason #6 - But that just sounds like Armageddon with the Fast and the Furious crew!

Sure, but unlike Armageddon, our crew never has any problem getting to their destination - It’s only when they get to their destination that the shit goes down. Will they all be in ridiculous space suits, except Dom, who thinks that a white A shirt is appropriate for car racing and weddings? Yes. But will they be figuring out how to make explosions on the moon while doing doughnuts in their neon kit equipped lunar rovers? ALSO YES.

Now, what’s Martian for ‘Family’?

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